J A P Ó N.-

27 noviembre 2017 at 12:00 pm (increibles)

Last week on TV. Four (4) offered us the viewers a programme dedicated to Japan, an enormous country, where perfection and rigour of a wide spectrum, embraces its entire existence from the first day of its life.
It is clear the success of this super nation, which is leading and outstanding, in “almost all areas of its life, where the records of education and production, so to speak, are among the highest in the world. To make a point, I will say that the High Speed train is at most 7 SECONDS late in the year.
Almost the same way the Talgo from Almeria to Madrid, that always, or almost, stands in Moreda for a couple of hours due to breakdowns. Punctuality in every order in the life of this great nation, together with its education and order, are holy and a sign of life, but it also has its risks.
The well-documented television program, well documented, tells us that the very high level of production has been reducing freedom, rest, the coexistence of people, that the vast majority of them have no time to live with another person, since they barely have that lapse, between work, journey home and return… why?
There is so much demand on the part of companies, with their employees, that last year the suicide record was broken, to more than 26. ooo. One of them, to name a few, was a doctor, who had been working in the hospital for 36 hours. He slammed himself into it, and threw himself into the void.
Neither the relatives, nor the trade unions, if they have them, do not give the companies vital signs of life, for their workers, who have to look for each other on the internet, company to go to the movies, or simply to chat, which happens, very often, by buying themselves a small robot, where they ask them questions and answers, to kill the little time they have, and immediately set out on the train to go to work with an endless schedule. If any of the workers complain to their bosses about their discontent, they will be fired, and their relatives will reprimand them for this action. Incredible but very true! Sal2

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SI TE ENTRAN A ROBAR EN CASA.- IF YOU STEAL HOME TO COME.-

10 octubre 2016 at 2:15 am (increibles)

ladron-1
1º Si un ladrón entra en tú casa, lo primero que tienes que preguntarle es, si realmente entró con fines de Robo…
Es decir, perdone ¿ Viene usted a robar a mi casa ¿?
2º Si responde que sí, tienes que averiguar si está armado, si es así, se le pregunta si va a usar el arma, en caso de resistirme.
¿ Óiga, si me resisto va usted a utilizar a Magnum 357 ¿?
3º Si contesta afirmativamente, tienes que pedirle el arma, para ver si efectivamente está cargada.
Perdone usted, me permite que vea el arma, para ver, si las balas que lleva son auténticas que atraviesan las paredes o no ¿?
4º En el caso que se niegue a facilitarme el arma, debes hacer algún movimiento, que a él no le guste, y cercionate si te dispara.
Es decir, te miras el cuerpo y si ves que estas como un colador, entonces si te ha disparado.
5º Si no lo hace y no te mata, puedes dispararle tú, pero sin matarlo, pues si lo haces, es exceso en legítima defensa.
Le dices, colega tranquilo que te doy un par de guantazos.ladron-2
6º Ahora si él te mata, así, si puedes matarlo tú en Legítima Defensa….
Claro, claro, tú ya en el Paraíso, y le mandas las balas Legítimas por Correo Divido…….
La Idea es de Pocholo, argumentada por mí. Sal2
1 If a thief enters your house, the first thing you have to ask is, if it really came Robo purposes …
That is, forgive Are you coming to steal my casa?
2nd If yes, you have to find out if armed, if so, you are asked whether to use the weapon, should resist.
Hear you if I resist going to use Magnum 357 ¿?
3rd If you answer yes, you have to ask the gun to see if it is actually loaded.ladron-3
Excuse me, allow me to see the gun, to see if the bullets are real that carries through walls or is it not?
4th In case refuses to give me the gun, you need to make a move, that he does not like, and if you shoot cercionate.
That is, you look at the body and if you see these as a colander, then if he shot you.
5th If it does and does not kill you can shoot you, but without killing it, because if you do, is excessive in self-defense.
You say, quiet fellow that I give you a couple of slaps.ladron-4
6 Now if he kills you, so if you can kill him in Self Defense ….
Sure, sure, you already in Paradise, and send Legitimate Mail Divido …… bullets.
The idea is Pocholo, argued by me. Out2

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CHAOS TREMENDOUS DAILY TECHNOLOGY PARK MÁLAGA.-

19 febrero 2016 at 2:56 pm (increibles)

coche-1
Well, today was the apotheosis. I mean the monumental “parade” of thousands of cars, EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR, to get to the Technology Park, where thousands of cars moving slowly little step to reach their workplace, and today especially for being a rainy day . And Canal Sur have noticed, in a report, where a tour of 11 Km, 20 minutes, becomes ¾ of an hour.
I say. With so smart on board “carabanístas” people, how is it that every day, EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR, being involved in the daily stress, when easy it would be up an hour earlier. I know it sucks, but go hit another car, meter by meter walk to get to their jobs.
and there is talk of putting a commuter, metro, bicycles or skateboards, in order to wipe out this ordeal, on the road. The road for snowdrops, also collapsed to the roundabout Technology Park, with difficult and slow traffic, EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR.coche-2
It is a challenge, important that the great powers Malaga should address once and for all, to avoid the ordeal, EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR.
To me it would not be me, but I had to get up at 5 am, but it’s not the solution. If anyone Technology Park, so ready, ready, brainy, super smart and not lift a finger in high places, to solve this chicken every day, as Beyond them. salu2

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EL PIJAMA AZUL.-

7 octubre 2015 at 10:39 pm (increibles)

Azul-5
Un hombre llama a su esposa desde el trabajo y le dice….’Querida, el Jefe me pide que lo acompañe a
pescar a Canadá con algunos clientes muy importantes…. Nos vamos una semana y ésta será una muy buena oportunidad para conseguir mi tan ansiada promoción.
No te olvides de meter suficiente ropa para una semana, además de la caña de pescar y, la bolsa con los anzuelos, que cuando salga de la oficina lo paso a buscar… ¡Ah… y, no te olvides de incluir mi pijama de seda azul!Azul-6
La esposa piensa que esto suena un ‘poquito’ extraño… y que era de lo más llamativo que necesitase un pijama tan lujoso para una excursión de pesca, pero como buena esposa hizo lo que su marido le pidió.
Una semana después regresa el marido.. un poco cansado…pero contento.
La esposa le da la bienvenida y le pregunta… ¿Pescaste mucho??
– ¡Ufff!… – contesta él – No dejamos una trucha ni para muestra.

Pero… ¿Por qué no metiste mi pijama azul , como te pedí?Azul-3

Y la mujer le responde…Sí, sí que lo hice…

No,- responde él- miré bien y, no estaba.

Ella le responde: Lo habrías visto si hubieras abierto la caja de pesca…

LA INTELIGENCIA ES ALGO QUE SE ADQUIERE POCO A POCO Y CON SACRIFICIO

MORALEJA:

Cuando un hombre va con la fruta, la mujer ya viene con la mermelada, así que no te la des de vivo.

Envíalo a mujeres con cabeza y a hombres…. que sepan reír

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MONOLOGO DE UNA BORRACHA.-

9 julio 2015 at 7:33 pm (increibles)

bebida-2
MONÓLOGO DE UNA BORRACHA.-
Una mujer súper elegante y bella, sale de un bar con un grado de alcohol en la sangre muy elevado, (borracha totalmente), caminando tambaleándose hacia su coche, un mercedes carísimo, trata de abrir la puerta con sus llaves, pero su estado, tan lamentable se lo impide, a tal punto que se cae sentada al lado de la puerta del coche.
Patiabierta y sin bragas, observa hacia abajo, y lo único que ve es su parte íntima, y comienza a hablarle:
Por ti, tengo coche.
Por ti, tengo joyas.
Por ti, tengo dinero.
Por ti, tengo una mansión.
Por ti, puedo tener el hombre que quiera.
De repente se empieza a mear…… y dice.
¡¡ No llores coño ¡!!!
¡¡ Qué no te estoy riñendo ¡!!!!!!
PD.- Vive el Presente, que solo Dios sabe del Futuro……
Salu2 (FRASE: Estoy confundido con el Inglés:
“Si Car es carro y Men es hombre, ¿Entonces mi tía Carmen es un Transformer ?….)

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DIALOGUE BETWEEN FATHER AND SON MONO.-

8 abril 2015 at 8:34 pm (increibles)

mono-2
DIALOGUE BETWEEN FATHER AND SON MONO
The small:
Daddy, What is man? ..
Answer the Father:
They are hairless apes, who think they own everything around him. They build stone caves that reach the sky. His ego, greed, has no limits, taking more land than they need. They destroy the forest litter and pollute the oceans, pollute the air.
Human enslave humans, and let part of the pack starve, for richer few. They build machines to kill other humans.
Sooner or later they will exterminate themselves.
Humans are crazy monkeys.
THOUGHT:
The problem of continually doing favors for people, is the day you stop doing so bad you … ..
LOVE is like toilet paper.
Time is running after every shit.
salu2

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MONO PADRE e HIJO.-

8 abril 2015 at 8:29 pm (increibles)

Mono-1
DIÁLOGO ENTRE MONO PADRE E HIJO
El pequeño:
¿Papá, qué es el humano?..
Contesta el Padre:
Son monos sin pelo, que piensan que son los dueños de todo lo que le rodea. Construyen cuevas de piedra que llegan hasta el cielo. Su Ego, su codicia, no tiene límites, toman de la tierra más de lo que necesitan. Destruyen la selva, ensucian y contaminan los mares, contaminan el aire.
Los humanos esclavizan a los humanos, y dejan que parte de la manada muera de hambre, para que unos pocos sean más ricos. Construyen máquinas para matar a otros humanos.
Tarde o temprano se exterminarán a sí mismos.
Los humanos son Monos locos.
PENSAMIENTO:
El problema de hacerle favores continuamente a la gente, es que el día que dejes de hacerlo, el malo eres tú…..
El AMOR, es como el papel de baño.
Se va acabando, después de cada cagada.
Salu2

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AMAZING WEDDING.-

4 diciembre 2014 at 12:18 am (increibles)

Chica-1
This is a completely true “credible” story about a wedding in a village in Alicante, and what happened was in all the newspapers of the area leaving people amazed.
In a wedding with over 300 guests after the ceremony of the event, the banquet, the groom took the stage and took the microphone to address attendees.
He said, he wanted to thank everyone for having come, some from far away, to accompany them on their wedding day. He thanked especially the bride, her family and her new stepfather, for organizing such a fantastic feast.
As proof of his deep appreciation-continued wanted to give each attendee a special gift. So he said, sticking to the bottom of each chair was an envelope. He repeated that it was a gift for each participant and asked everyone to open.
Inside each envelope was an enlarged photo of the bride practicing sex with the Godfather.
The groom was suspicious and had hired a private detective to tail. After enduring standing there, just watching the reactions of the guests for a couple of minutes, he turned to the Godfather and said “Fuck you”, then turned to the bride and said “Fuck you” …
Then he turned to the audience and said, “I’m outta here.”
He requested an annulment first thing the next day.
His vengeance: making the parents of the bride were spent in wedding 32.oooEuros over 300 guests, and even better to leave in tatters the reputation of the bride and best man in front of all the guests and family.
Elegant wedding party of 300 guests … ..32.000Euros
Professional photographer to capture the event ………. 3.000Euros
Luxury rooms at the Melia ………………… … 8.500Euros
The face of “personal” to the zoomed picture “throwing” the Godfather …… .no priceless.
There are things that can not be paid with money ……
salu2

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BODA INCREÍBLE.-

4 diciembre 2014 at 12:14 am (increibles)

chica-3
Esto es una historia “creíble”, totalmente verídica, sobre una boda en un pueblo de Alicante, y lo que ocurrió salió en todos los periódicos de la zona dejando asombrados a las personas.
En una boda con más de 300 invitados, después de la ceremonia del acto, en el banquete, el novio subió al estrado y tomó el micrófono para dirigirse a los asistentes.
Dijo, que quería agradecer a todos el haber venido, algunos de muy lejos, para acompañarlos en el día de su boda. Agradeció, especialmente a la novia, a su familia y a su nuevo suegro, por organizar un banquete tan excepcional .
Como prueba de su profundo agradecimiento-continuo- quería ofrecer a cada asistente un regalo especial. Así que indicó que, pegado a la parte de debajo de cada silla había un sobre. Repitió que era un regalo para cada asistente y pidió que todos lo abrieran.
Dentro de cada sobre había una Foto ampliada de la novia practicando Sexo con el Padrino.chica-2
El novio tenía sospechas y había contratado a un detective privado para pillarlos. Después de aguantar ahí de pie, simplemente observando las reacciones de los invitados durante un par de minutos, se volvió hacia el Padrino y le dijo “Que te jodan”, luego se volvió hacia la novia y le dijo “Que te jodan”…
Entonces se volvió hacia los asistentes y dijo “Me largo de aquí”.
Pidió la anulación del matrimonio a primera hora del día siguiente.
Su venganza: hacer que las padres de la novia se gastaran 32.oooEuros en la boda de más de 300 invitados, y mejor aún dejar por los suelos la reputación de la novia y del padrino en frente de todos los invitados y familiares.
Elegante banquete de boda de más de 300 invitados…..32.000Euros
Fotógrafo profesional para inmortalizar el evento………. 3.000Euros
Habitaciones en Hotel de Lujo en el Meliá…………………… 8.500Euros
La cara del “personal” al ver la foto ampliada “tirándose” al Padrino…….no tiene precio.
Hay cosas que no se pueden pagar con dinero……
Salu2

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TOO MANY COUNTRIES FOR A STATE.-

22 noviembre 2014 at 11:42 pm (increibles, Personal)

FOTOS VARIADAS 122
“Satirical comment from a reader of” The Economist “:

November 2014
Catalonia votes for independence. Artur Mas becomes president of the new state.

December 2014
Catalonia applies for membership in EU. The request is approved and Catalonia becomes the 28th member.

Mar 2015
The province of Soria vote in favor of independence and Spain are the grants.

Apr 2015
Soria applies for membership in the EU. Josep Martinet (born Pepe Martinez), representative of Catalonia in the EU opposes. “Soria is not a nation, Catalonia itself,” he says.
“Yes you are …” said the president of Soria. Despite vociferous opposition Catalan, Soria becomes the 29th member of the EU.
“Now everyone wants to be a nation,” said Jordi Martinet. “It’s not fair.”

Sep 2015
Bremen became independent from Germany and becomes the 30th member of the EU. Venice becomes independent from Italy and became the 31st member.T3

July 2017
The process is contagious: the EU now has 125 members (25 of the country formerly known as Spain) and 85 official languages: Catalan, soriano, flamenco, likely, Silesian … etc.

October 2017
The European Commission announced that the EU can no longer work with such confusion.
After a lengthy discussion in 8 languages is decided that EU members should be organized into groups. The press called “clusters”.

November 2017
Members of German origin quickly organize their own “cluster” and decide to give it a new name: Germany.

December 2017
Members of French origin, after a long discussion, create their own “cluster” they call France.

December 2017
Members of the country formerly known as Spain created its own “cluster”. Can not agree on the name for what are known as “Iberian cluster”.
Galicia attempts to join the Irish “cluster”. “We are also Celtic” repeats the Galician president. “No you are not,” says the Irish president.
Finally, Galicia joins the “Iberian cluster”. The Basque Country joins the “cluster” of Georgia, Sicily and Macedonia, known as the “EGSM” with the “E” Euzkadi.

Jan 2018
The Catalans try to join the “German cluster”: “We Germans South, we are not Spanish.”
“You are in the South, okay, but you are Germans,” receive an answer.

Jan 2018
The Catalans try to join the “French cluster”: “We are practically French, are not Spanish.” They are rejected.
Spiteful, the Catalans form their own “cluster” with Romania, Albania, Cyprus and Kosovo.
They therefore constitute the “cluster CRACK”. Catalonia lost inhabitants and decide to import one million Moroccans.

Sep 2018
As the new organization is ineffective, Germany decides to leave the EU and the euro.
Closes its borders to “a bunch of loonies” – according to the kind expression of the German president – and creates a new currency, the Deutschmark.

October 2018
France follows suit and leaves. Your new currency, the franc. Initiated contacts with Germany, Holland, Belgium and Luxembourg to create a new union: “The Common Market”.

November 2018
The EU collapses. Reappear border controls. “The Economist” says on the front: “We hate to say, but because We warned you.”

May 2019
Morocco invaded Catalonia. Catalonia Spain accused of having secret agreements with the Moroccans. “We did not see this coming …” says the Iberian president.
Moroccan impose “sharia” and prohibit bikinis, public nudes and “aioli” under threat of severe punishment.

Jan 2020
Catalonia seeks help from his “Spanish brothers”. The country formerly Catalonia Spain invades again! “Why have you been so long?” Asks Artur Mas.
Catalonia joins the country formerly known as Spain. The public nudity, bikinis and “aioli” again become legal, practically mandatory.
The country chooses a new name, Spain, and a new currency, the peseta. The Basque Country joins Spain.
Spain are applying in the “Common Market”. “He will think …” is the response you get.

And start … 25 years later …

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